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Friday, February 28, 2003
I'm way too preoccupied with death these days. Looking in the mirror, the signs of my own mortality are starting to add up, and every bout of illness reminds me of the frailty of the human body. It's this that gives me some understanding of religion. Quite frankly it freaks me out a little that some day I will simply cease to exist. It could be today, it could be in 50 years, but whatever the case, it won't be long enough.
That doesn't mean I'd want to live forever. I'd just like to live until such a time rolls around that I could say, "Okay, that's good enough," and then cease to exist.
posted
by Tabby at 2/28/2003 11:46:00 a.m.
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Wednesday, February 26, 2003
Ha! Like I did anything but play that damned game all night.
So how about food cravings? I had some pretty strong ones last night. Potato chips (either regular or smokey bacon), an apple, or Ritz crackers with garlic sausage. Any one of those would have hit the spot, but do you think I have any in the house? I finished my last apple a couple of days ago, and rest I haven't had in some time. Oy, even writing about it right now makes me want to go and munch. But soon I'll go shopping and then you just wait and see. I'll be rolling in the snack foods! Not literally, of course. That would just be silly.
posted
by Tabby at 2/26/2003 07:32:00 a.m.
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Tuesday, February 25, 2003
Ah, shiftwork. My next set of shifts are graveyards, so I'm getting my sleep patterns shifted around for the coming week. The nice thing about being up all night is that the house is quiet. That means apart from the dogs, I can go about doing whatever I want as long as I'm reasonable quiet.
There's an idea I've had for a new satire site I'd like to work on. If I can rip myself away from Morrowind long enough, maybe I'll work on it tomorrow night. That's a big "if" though. Things are starting to get interesting in the game again.
posted
by Tabby at 2/25/2003 08:19:00 a.m.
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Monday, February 24, 2003
Just when I thought I was back all fine and hunky-dory, last night at work out of the blue I started getting sick again. I really can't afford to be missing any hours so I'm really grateful I have today and tomorrow off, because I'm still feeling all ugh.
The good news is I think I'm starting to tire of Morrowind. Now maybe I can get some other stuff done now, and who knows, maybe even write something interesting here. Oh, shush! I just might, you know!
posted
by Tabby at 2/24/2003 05:03:00 p.m.
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Sunday, February 23, 2003
I'm trying very hard right now not to go downstairs and start playing Morrowind, but I'll probably fail. Damn, that game is addictive.
posted
by Tabby at 2/23/2003 01:06:00 a.m.
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Friday, February 21, 2003
Thanks to the advent of the DVD, I now find it very hard to watch movies on television in full-screen. As it is, I now refuse to buy or even rent a movie unless it's presented in its original format (The Powerpuff Girls Movie being a recent exception because I wanted it enough to be able get past that they for some ridiculous reason didn't also offer a widescreen version, even on the same disk).
posted
by Tabby at 2/21/2003 01:04:00 a.m.
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Thursday, February 20, 2003
The days of The Tabby Diaries as a website that still exists are numbered. Frankly I'm surprised, considering that it's been almost a year since I last wrote there.
It all started when I found myself enjoying writing the updates for Tabby Gallery, and so I wanted to expand on that plus do even more. Well, even then diary sites were fairly common, but I didn't care. This was a way for me to express myself in a way other than the visual means in the Gallery, and maybe even do something a little different. You know what? I've still never heard of a site that has tried what I attempted, simultaneous factual and fictional diaries. Yes, it was different but having them both side-by-side like that was their eventual downfall.
The problem is that I put so much into the non-fiction writing, I wasn't left with much else for the fiction. A good writer of fiction often imbues their creations with their own emotions and experience, but if those were already in the factual writing, how could I do it without repeating myself? Of course this meant that the fictional diaries suffered, despite my best attempts otherwise.
Anyway, after a few months it got to be draining. Not only with the writing, but doing it all right in the code and archiving manually, not like this handy-dandy little Blogger journal I've got now. When economic circumstances forced a disconnection from the Net for a while there, it finally brought about the death of the Diaries.
I will miss them when the site finally disappears from the Internet. I put a lot of work into writing them, working on the design, and publicising it all. There was a thrill in the newness of it all. It only lasted barely over eight months, but they were great months. As for the Tabby Archives, where each previous month went to rest, they'll probably be around for a while longer, but check them out if you'd like to take a look into the development of my oevre (before I got pretentious enough to use words like "oevre").
posted
by Tabby at 2/20/2003 02:37:00 a.m.
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Tuesday, February 18, 2003
I've been up all night playing Morrowind on my roommate's XBox. I put it in last night to see what it was like, little expecting to be consumed by it. The only thing that pissed me off was that I spent a lot of time in a mine, collected all sorts of wealth, only to have been caught by surprise by an attack that killed my character off then discovering that I don't save my game nearly enough. Aaargh!
posted
by Tabby at 2/18/2003 09:07:00 a.m.
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Sunday, February 16, 2003
Oh boy, tonight's going to be a good night! If I had any sort of a life, I probably wouldn't be so excited, but as it is, this is all I have really. Sooooo... Oh boy! Episode 300 of The Simpsons alone wouldn't be too bad. That's THREE HUNDRED. You could watch an episode every weeknight for a year and still not have seen them all. But that's not what's got me excited. It's the Married... With Children reunion that's finally airing!
You see, sitcoms have long been populated with smart-mouthed kids and couples who take potshots at each other, but never before had it been taken to such wondrous new heights, and never since has it seen its equal. This historic achievement in broadcasting came during the reign of The Cosby Show, while itself not bad and The Cos himself a stand-up legend, it had a definite lean towards the saccharine. Married... With Children's low-class and crude Bundys provided a much needed counterbalance to the Huxtables, as the most realistic portrayal of a family would likely land somewhere between the two.
I've watched a few newer shows the past few days that had wisecracking children with sniping parents and they just didn't cut it. The writing and the performances were too... sitcommy? Don't get me wrong, because I'm not ashamed to admit I like sitcoms, but there is a cookie-cutterish feel to many of them. Anyway, before I get sidetracked, these new shows just don't go for the gusto like Al, Peg, and the kids. The unabashed zeal isn't there. It's a shame, because we could definitely use more unabashed zeal in television.
posted
by Tabby at 2/16/2003 07:39:00 p.m.
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Saturday, February 15, 2003
Urrrrrrrrrgh. Why oh why oh why? The Dread Sickness descended upon me so very fast. Why is it taking so long to fully recover? There I moments I feel back in the peak of health, but then the next thing I know I'm weak and nauseated. Sure, you don't want to hear about this. You're here hoping I'll say something equally mean and funny about good ol' George Warmonger Bush. Tough. My journal, my kvetching.
I did want to go to the big anti-war protest in town, but between not feeling up to anything too physical yet and, well, having to work which would have kept me from going anyway, I was unable to. What I'm getting sick of here (I was going to say "tired of", but hey, I've been literally ill! Ha!) are conservative Canadians attempting to stifle any criticism of the United States as just more "America-bashing". You know what? Screw them. Has the U.S. done some good stuff? Hell, yes. But they've done some damned shitty stuff too. Regardless of that, doing good things doesn't make anybody immune from criticism. Going to war with Iraq is wrong and I'd believe so even if I saw pictures of Saddam Hussein straddling a nuclear bomb. Ronald Reagan was way more whacked in the head and even he didn't bring about any (non-industrial polluting) mass destruction.
Ah. It's good to know that at least I'm feeling up to a rant.
posted
by Tabby at 2/15/2003 06:49:00 p.m.
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Friday, February 14, 2003
Happy Valentine's Day! And you know why it's happy? Because I'm no longer sick as a dog! Without going into the gory details, on Wednesday I got sick. Very, very sick. About as sick as I've ever been in my life. Then yesterday I was feeling better, but still getting winded just walking from one room to the next. Am I back to full health? No, not yet, but I was able to go to work today. Yay.
posted
by Tabby at 2/14/2003 05:42:00 p.m.
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Tuesday, February 11, 2003
Approximately 45 minutes of sleep last night, and I think I fell asleep for about 20 minutes on the couch this evening. In other words, goodnight.
posted
by Tabby at 2/11/2003 10:44:00 p.m.
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Monday, February 10, 2003
I've made an update to the page design. Can you find what's new or different? Thirty points for the first correct answer.
posted
by Tabby at 2/10/2003 06:38:00 p.m.
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Ever experience existential angst?
Life is short. At most if you're lucky you might live to be 120. Most of us don't make it that far. I'm an atheist, so I don't believe in reincarnation or an afterlife. So my question to myself is, I've wasted so many years already, do I really want to spend so many more going to work at jobs I don't love? Not really.
Conan O'Brien, if you're out there give me a call. I want to be a writer on your show.
posted
by Tabby at 2/10/2003 01:00:00 a.m.
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Sunday, February 09, 2003
I've spent the past couple of days defending myself on a message board I've only just come back to. Yeah, I know it shouldn't matter, these accusations coming from people I care absolutely nothing about (I can't even work myself up to dislike them for it), and would never meet, but they are attacking my character in front of people whose opinions I do care about, so I'm not about to just let it slide. Well, not that I would anyway. If I'm guilty of something, I'll own up to it and apologize. But if I'm innocent, I'll defend myself tirelessly. No, I'm not a saint, but I am vaguely aware of right and wrong. Or maybe I'm not, being an atheist with no moral compass.
The mention of my atheism does have a bearing on this, because this all springs forth from a thread about religion in, get this, a Religion & Politics forum. I often come very close to the line in those things, but I try not to cross it. Do I ever fail? Of course I do. But when I do I'll admit it.
A large part of the problem is people are too willing to assign intent to others. The sheer number of apparent mind readers in the world is simply astounding. I don't know about you, but I know better what goes on in my brain than anyone else, especially when those other people already have a bias against anything I might say because of religious, philosophical, or even stylistic differences.
Pffff. It really shouldn't matter. I normally don't let stuff online get to me, but lately I just haven't had much luck living by that. But hey, at least I have a place to vent.
posted
by Tabby at 2/09/2003 01:07:00 a.m.
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Saturday, February 08, 2003
Friday, February 07, 2003
So I'm taking the bus home from work tonight (yay, environment!) and this guy I sit down across the aisle from is muttering under his breath and swearing to himself, all the while shooting strange looks at me. He gets up, goes to the driver to see if we're leaving soon, I guess, then comes back and sits down behind me and to the left a bit. The muttering, swearing, and looks keep up for several blocks until we get to his stop, which is on a corner and not at a stop, so the driver must be used to him and knows where he gets off. I'm just thankful he got off the bus well before I did.
The reason I bring this up is my last sentence there. I feel for the mentally ill, I really do, and it's probably a minority who are dangerous, but that didn't make me any less nervous and yes, even a little creeped out. Yes yes, I know it's wrong to say that. But mental health advocates need to realize that these feelings are very real and so are the fears. Ads showing seemingly "normal" people doing "normal" activities aren't going to take away the discomfort of having someone swearing and muttering to themselves continuously for minutes on end while looking angrily at you. I want to treat all people the same but frankly my safety comes first in an instance like this.
posted
by Tabby at 2/07/2003 03:46:00 a.m.
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Thursday, February 06, 2003
If someone were to come up to me on the street and ask, "Excuse me, are you Tabby?" I would reply, "Yes, I am. I'm sorry." I don't know why I'd apologize, but I would. Maybe it's because of their glorified image of me being shattered. Maybe it's because I'd probably be standing on their foot. I don't know. All I do know is that I need to go to bed soon.
posted
by Tabby at 2/06/2003 02:31:00 a.m.
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Wednesday, February 05, 2003
Four sweet, sweet days off are done, so back to work in... oh, I'll have to leave in a little over twelve hours. And one of the days off wasn't a true day off, but I worked the graveyard that day so the rest of it counts towards one. Ah, it was so restful! I did almost nothing all that time! Sure, a little housework, and some work on my employer's website (which was more fun than work), and some grocery shopping. That was it, and that was enough.
My only concern is the question of whether or not I'm too old to have bought myself a Lisa Simpson BellyWasher. It contains 0% juice!
posted
by Tabby at 2/05/2003 02:58:00 a.m.
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Tuesday, February 04, 2003
This is too cool, and I'm considering adding it to this page but I'm concerned about this becoming a stereotypical blog with all the extraneous diversions. As it is, I probably won't be posting any quiz results. Heck, the little imood indicator to the left there was the result of a lot of contemplation.
posted
by Tabby at 2/04/2003 11:26:00 p.m.
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I like pancakes. Warm, golden-brown pancakes with soft, fluffy centers. Pancakes that just melt in your mouth. Some people prefer them with just butter, some people like to put jam on theirs. Me, I'm a syrup girl. Drizzle them with sheer sweetness. Of course maple syrup is the best, but I have some delicious blueberry syrup in the kitchen that is absolutely fantastic.
There's no reason for me to tell you this other than just to share.
posted
by Tabby at 2/04/2003 05:43:00 p.m.
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Monday, February 03, 2003
"Evil" as in Bond villains trying to take over the world and cackling maniacally and knowing they're evil is something I don't particularly believe in. I do think deep down inside, most people think they're doing something right, something good, no matter how wrong what they are doing is. Also, up until recently when it came to my politics, I was a fiscal moderate, maybe even a little right-leaning because of my strong anti-union beliefs. This is all changing.
Someone please tell me it's not evil to work towards abolishing welfare, then work towards abolishing minimum wage laws. We can't trust corporations to do what is right in countries where they can get away with appalling labour practices, how can we trust them to do what's right here?
Here are a few choice quotes...
"When you require employers to pay a minimum wage, any worker whose labor is not worth that wage is fired, or never hired to begin with." I agree with someone not doing their job, but otherwise wow, to be told that your time and effort isn't even worth the barest minimum they're required to pay, which leads us to...
"[F]orces the unemployed to accept indignity of welfare rather than the dignity of a job." I'm sure when you're making 28 cents per hour, you feel really dignified.
"The new survey also found majority support for an increase in the minimum wage and little concern for the ability of small business to absorb the hike." Isn't always nice to see people who don't denounce Walmart's business practices show a healthy concern for small business?
Abolish welfare so people have no recourse but to work (sounds nice in theory, and welfare reform is needed, but doesn't take in the reality of every possible reason someone may not be working), then abolish minimum wage laws so that many people will have no choice but to work for whatever is offered. It's greedy, despicable, and yes, evil.
posted
by Tabby at 2/03/2003 05:33:00 p.m.
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Sunday, February 02, 2003
Believe it or not, sometimes the best movies don't need to have any sort of huge plot to tell a fantastic story. A few years ago I caught this movie, Before Sunrise on tv and loved it, so I finally got it on DVD a couple of days ago and watched it tonight. I can't recommend it enough. A young American man meets a young French woman on a train, then convinces her to get off with him in Vienna to continue their conversation until he has to catch his flight home, during which time they fall in love. That's it. This movie is almost pure dialogue, but anything else would really just get in the way and detract from the story.
If you've never seen it before, go rent it. And if you fall in love with it as I have, remember who to thank!
posted
by Tabby at 2/02/2003 04:15:00 a.m.
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Saturday, February 01, 2003
Come, my friends,
'Tis not too late to seek a newer world.
Push off, and sitting well in order smite
The sounding furrows; for my purpose holds
To sail beyond the sunset, and the baths
Of all the western stars, until I die.
Tennyson, "Ulysses"
posted
by Tabby at 2/01/2003 12:18:00 p.m.
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I just heard about the space shuttle Columbia. The news about it breaking up during re-entry... it brings back memories of when the Challenger exploded on take-off. My thoughts go out to the friends and families of the astronauts who died.
posted
by Tabby at 2/01/2003 11:07:00 a.m.
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The
critics are calling
I
Was an Atomic Robot Jungle Vixen...
"Very
cool!" "Awesome!" "Good times!"
"Inspires
me..." A Critic - I
respect
"Cool.
And miles more exciting..." Someone Else -
You
might not know
"I
totally love it!" Whoo hoo! -
Posted
somewhere
"All
I have to say is... Cool!" Another Critic
"I
like the look..." An Opinion - YACCS
Comments
"You
think I have time to give you a quote? You're out of your
mind!" Wil Wheaton -WWfreakin'DN!
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