So here's the thing. Depending on where you are, you can discuss racism and things are fine. Depending on where you are, you can discuss homophobia and things are fine. But don't assume just because those topics have come up in the past that people are okay with discussing misogyny, because if you try that, things aren't so fine. Men get all huffy and you get smacked down for getting people upset.
I won't say where this conversation took place, but you won't be able to find it so don't waste your time trying to find it. I will copy and paste my part of the conversation only, the text in bold, so these are my words as is and I will describe what followed in italics.
It would be nice if religious was solely at fault, but a deep-rooted hatred and contempt for women is so deeply ingrained culturally throughout most of the male world it's a shock that we've managed to make inroads anywhere.
I won't even change the typo where I wrote "religious" instead of "religion". That one paragraph ended with me being accused of sexism for using the term "male world", and the poor, put-upon man who accused me of being sexist and took such umbrage over this then brought up the example of female genital mutilation being supported performed by women while ignoring the cultural brainwashing that leads to this happening. Of course I replied.
I know a lot of misogyny is absorbed and perpetuated by women against women, but the roots are still patriarchy and trying to make men happy. Female genital mutilation is supported and performed largely by women, but it's to please men and make their daughters into acceptable marriage material as they are of no use if they can't find husbands to bear sons for.
It's sad that so many women have accepted and bought into the lesson that they are lesser than men.
Maybe if I left it there, all would be fine. But there were replies to this, none of which accused me of sexism this time (I wonder if it would be racist of me to lay the blame for racism in the American south on white folk down there even though African Americans have used the n-word too). Anyway, I didn't leave it there. I then wrote the following concerning someone doubting misogyny being natural, which I sadly think is how it started out...
Actually I suspect it did start out from a natural state and became something very ugly. We are animals after all, and one of the primary objectives of pretty much every sexually reproducing species is to pass on their genes. Preaching monogamy is one way to try to ensure one's genes are passed on. However, it's within the male of the species to try and pass his genes on to as many females as possible, and it's within the female of the species to try and get the best genes possible which isn't necessarily from one's mate.
I can see our species as we grew more intelligent taking these instincts and twisting them into something very horrible.
"I must pass on my genes" becomes "I must ensure it's my genes that are passed on" becomes "You must be with only me so I can be sure you're only getting my genes" becomes "I will dominate you so you do not stray" becomes "Look how I dominate you, you are pathetic and should be grateful for my genes".
It's like how territorialism, which is natural, becomes war, which isn't, but is a result of our so-called intelligence mightily fucking over instinct.
And while I haven't been completely ostracized, I have been punished.
I've been on message boards for a long time. Frankly, I'm disgusted when crap on a board gets taken elsewhere. Why then am I posting this here?
Because my feminism has been stirred up and I'm not going to be made to shut up. Do women need to stand up and not buy into misogyny anymore? HELL YES! The treatment of Hillary Clinton and Sarah Palin in the recent American presidential election was horrifying, and the sheer number of women who attacked them as women instead of attacking policies they disagree with was saddening, but that doesn't change the fact that just because women buy into misogyny doesn't take away the blame men must bear as a sex for starting it (I'm sorry, but I guarantee it wasn't a woman who first came up with the concept of female misogyny). Of course not all men are responsible for carrying it on, but blaming the victim for believing what they've been told all their lives just shows a shocking lack of empathy.
Even now I'm torn about hitting the "Publish Post" button. If this is read by someone from there, it could end up in me being banned. You'd think that wouldn't bother me, but I prefer to leave message boards on my own terms. The thing is, you've now read every word I wrote in the thread on the subject. This has been weighing on my chest for a while now, so screw it, I'm hitting the button...Labels: misogyny, petty message board politics
posted
by Tabby at 12/11/2008 03:33:00 a.m.
