I was an Atomic Robot Jungle Vixen!

The worst ways to make an impression at a job interview...

Come in with your arms stretched in front of you like you're flying while making WOOSH sounds before sitting down.
Instead of a handshake, try a nice big hug!
Whenever a question is asked about your past, start weeping inconsolably.
Wear your underwear on the outside, and explain with, "I don't like when it gets poopy."
Talk as loud as you can without actually shouting.
Give the interviewer a wedgie, then say you're just kiddin' with him as you give him a noogie.
When you're asked to have a seat, explain that you can never sit down or "they" will get you.
Go in, do some magic tricks, maybe some juggling, and end on a song.
When you're asked to take a seat, sit on her lap and ask if you can call her "Mommy."
Ask if you're only allowed to drink beer and wine at work, or is hard liquor permitted?
Pick your left nostril, eat it, then pick your right nostril and before it gets to your mouth, stop and say, "Oh, sorry. Want some?"
Keep getting a faraway look in your eyes and giggle softly.
Whenever you're asked a question, reply indignantly, "That's none of your business!"
As soon as the interview starts to talk, put your hand to their mouth and say, "Shhhh! Just sit there and keep looking pretty!"
Ask one simple question... "Hey! Didn't we meet at the NAMBLA weekend in Aspen?"
Refuse to talk about anything other than how George Lucas is ruining the original Star Trek trilogy. Yes, you read that right. Star Trek.
End the interview with, "Oh god, I think I love you..."

posted by Tabby at 9/23/2004 03:12:00 p.m.

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