Not too long ago I was standing in line at a convenience store, waiting patiently to trade some of my nation's currency for manufactured food items, and I scanned the magazine racks by the till because frankly I had nothing else to do. Amongst the few periodicals on display there (the bigger racks with the wider selection were behind me) were three men's magazines side-by-side.
These weren't those kinds of men's magazines, you know, the ones they buy "just for the articles", but instead those newer ones like Maxim and such. In fact, Maxim was one of them. I couldn't tell you what the other ones were called, but that's irrelevant anyway. They all appeared to be in pretty much the same vein anyway.
How could I tell this? Because they all had the exact same fucking picture on the cover!
Okay, not the exact same picture per se, all the models were different women, though two of them were Desperate Housewives (Terry Hatcher and Eva Longoria, which makes this even stranger), but they were all in pretty much the exact same pose. You know, on their knees with their butts to the ground, leaning forward a little and their arms down in front with their hands on the floor so their breasts were squeezed somewhat together. They were all even facing the same direction.
It doesn't shock me that men find that pose sexy, nothing about the penile-minded surprises me anymore. I would like to point out however when demonstrating the pose to others I found it just very uncomfortable. Is it the potential discomfort guys find sexy? Nah, I'm kidding, I know it's the squeezed boobies that get fellas off.
What I find offensive about the whole sordid affair is the lack of creativity. When confronted by three women in the exact same pose on three different magazine covers in the same month, something is wrong in the originalness department, and thinking back on it now I know I've seen that pose before, but I've just never thought about it. I suppose there are limits to the number of positions the human body can take, and most of them aren't the kind that will entice horny heterosexual men, aged 18-34, to purchase magazines and buy the sponsors' products.
So never mind me. I have to go practice my uncomfortable poses so that I can do my part in keeping our economy afloat and protect our consumerist way of life.
posted
by Tabby at 3/01/2005 10:27:00 p.m.
